Giving up does not mean you stoping doing somethig, you already gave up when the negative attitude took charge in your mind.
Remeber this moment, Liang, you are not a looser and you never will be, so do not feel negative at all. Happy with you, happy with your life, cherish your family and the people who helped you. I admit you already went through a lot of tough things, but this the purpose, it taught you learn to be positiove with your life , setback. Think more about what other people thinks, adjust yourself, help them, that is your powful.
Thank God. You did not give up on me , not even a little.